ARIAKA

Dennis is bemoaning the new craze.  G-strings, thongs and related paraphenalia.  A daily menu served to us Ugandans.  Yes. On the streets.  Dennis writes in his blog.  Now I offer a rejoinder.

Ha ha ha ahaaa ahahhhahahah. My rib is cracking. Ouch. ahhaa ahahaaha.

Dennis, I must confess. Church is no go for me these days. You see, I believe the fellowship with God is so serious that purity is concern number one.

I mean spiritual purity. Something like. Clear mind, clear head. No lingering desire.

Going to church is torture today. Okay, understood, the sisters act to attract a mate is a serious concern too.

But that can be taken care of in social circles other than the church. Try sports, especially swimming. Go to the club. Go another place.

But to go to church and behold skimpy dress. See through, low tops, tight jeans. No, Deno, I think we have aged. Our view of decency belongs to another era. A bygone era.

We belong to the IDD AMIN ERA. I am ‘GENERAL AMIN’. He used to say. Significantly, Amin outlawed mini skirts. Instead we had MAXIS.  That rendition of BURQA.  A truly Ugandan invention.  Our mothers were elegant. Our sisters respectable. Our minds, … free from ideas.  Ideas that would corrupt us.

Deno. You now understand where we come from. You and me, had no buffet of miniskirts, ’seethroughs’, high heeled shoes, g-strings etal.  We are clean. Cleansed from infatile lust.

We were nubile and no fixation with sex.  That is why the HIV/AIDS scourge is stable at 6% in Uganda.

Amin saved this country by banning them all.

I read a cartoon in The New Vision the other day. I think it was FUNLUNATICS. One character to another. Said one, “You are naked in the living room”. Answered the other, “I saw a naked girl on the streets”. eeehhhh aaahhaha aahha. Denis, here we are.

Some people tried to halt this menace in the early 90’s. Remember the ‘public’ stripping on Luwum street? Owino? etc etc.,

Our feminists condemned it. Saying it is an affront on human rights of victims. And the victims were? Women.

And you guessed right. The ‘public’ were lumpens. Lumpens they may be. But they saw a problem and were bold enough to act on it.

With feminists in high tempo. The problem would be.

Actually it has grown. Grown so big to jolt your sensibilities. Our sensibilities.

Now, our designers are in it. Remember, sex sells. The theme on many designs in town is sex. I am actually shell shocked.

I saw in The Redpaper a child catwalking. It was one of the highlights of SYVIA Owori’s Motocouture at Kampala Serena over the weekend.

The RP says it is EVA MBABAZI’s daughter.

Deno, can you imagine a 6 year old showcasing a low cut skirt. A low cut top. Exposing the navel. What is the point.

Sex.

Now these people are prising the girl for sex. At six years? They’re encouraging our daughters to rebel. Demanding a bit of action. Wannabe like EVE’s daughter.

Why does EVE shroud around sex? We are doomed. We need condemnation editorial from RP on that picture.

Eh least I forget. There was the vagina monologues the other year. I actually enjoy a dialogue. You know what I mean.

No not that side B stuff. The real thing. Me and her.

But you see, public decency has evolved to the point that a lurid play was to be unleashed. Not in the confines of adult only clubs, but at natioanl theatre.

You also have ebimansulo. I watched one. EKIMANSULO NDILIMBO.  Bimansulo are the vehicles that drive this unzip craze.  You watch strip tease show and,  and g-strings are a fancy.  Your mind switches to tolerance.  Tolereance of indecent dressing.  It is not zero-tolerance. It is now tolerance 100%.

100 fm can now boldly parade the ladies.  Complete in red. Completely skimpy.  The clear message.  Come get me.  The traffic jams trebles.  Heart breaks treble.  No wonder the divorce threats went up that Monday morning.

What do the ladies say?

Beginning early May this year, a rare phenomenon was gripping Kampala.  Emerging from City Hall, the mayor started to put his mouth were his word was. A Saturday morning, in Nateete, a swarm of broom brandishing folks descended on this drooly suburb and swept it clean.

The sweltering morning heat, coupled with the overzealous women and the applauding people on the sideline produced a wonderful piece of work that will for a long time puzzle us and vindicate the seyas on their choice for mayor.

In subsequent weekends, this urban waste solution would replicate in all the divisions of Kampala. People continued to marvel at this seya, who is a man of deeds and ye of little prose.  The city got a new look and this appearance has become a a catch phrase for city hall.  From weekender ladies of the broom and shovel, to evening outfits in city center.

So, plaudits and more plaudits. But wait.  Look a little closer.

On inspection, a new culture has emerged to complete this fad.  Kampalans have now discarded  the rubbish skips.  The waste is now disposed right in the roads and walkways.  In effect, a new problem has arisen.  Apart from the unsightly presence of rubbish in our face  (roads are an excellent platform for advertising), the inconvinience to road users; we now must contend with an impending calamity: disease.

Remember, the surface is a run-of-water galore.  We can actually tap water run off during showers to generate some electricity. Most importantly, the decaying rubbish produces ammonia enough to polute entire neighbourhoods, are breeding grounds to the anopheles mosquitos for the sure deal mal-aria.  What’s more, people down stream will do well to avoid dysentry, typhoid and associated dis-eases.

Thus far, Seya has got it wrong. A laudable philosophy to keep Kampala clean; benevolent pragmatism to create jobs for the underpriviledged.  But misguided on implementation (politic speak). 

I wrote a project proposal on handling garbage in 1996.  From a situation analysis, a wholistic approach was postulated.  Forget Brettonwood jargons, but the proposal suggestions were realistic and a solution to this problem. A project has stakeholders.  One important and often excluded are the beneficiary communities. Seya should have embarked on community project acceptance mechanisms.  This ofcourse can easily be achieved through extensive education programs.  This way, you avoid Kampalans from developing new garbage disposal cultures such as dumping by walkways.

In tandem, you categorize the waste by disposal types. In that way, you sift organic waste from inorganic waste.  The organ type can be used severally as biogass to generate power say, as fodder for crops on farms etc, and the inorganic? Incinerate.

Over to you your lordship, we need more than mass action witnessth on weekends.  Go the extra mile.